My #1 Parenting Tip

Becoming a parent is overwhelming to say the least. On top of needing to figure out how to take care of a tiny little human while still making sure you take care of yourself, you’ll also inevitably end up getting a crap ton of unsolicited advice and unnecessary comments from both friends/family and strangers alike.

And I know you didn’t ask me for advice, but this blog is going to be all about my #1 tip for every single parent out there. Take it if it serves you, and leave it if it doesn’t. 

When things are good…

Your friends with toddlers will tell you to enjoy the time with your newborn because they’re only little once.
Your mom will tell you to take lots of pictures because time is a thief.
Your aunt will tell you to enjoy the contact naps because one day you’ll miss them.
Everyone will have lovely things to say about the good stuff because time just goes by so fast.

But then in their next breath…

When things aren’t great…

Your friends with toddlers will tell you to “just wait” until your kid is old enough to start running around and wreaking havoc.
Your mom will tell you to remember when your child says “I love you” because one day they’ll be saying they hate you.
Your aunt will say “you think a newborn is bad…just wait until those terrible twos!”
Every time you try voicing your concerns about your struggles, someone will tell you about the next “terrible” thing you have to look forward to and how much worse it is.

Then you’ll be left feeling exhausted and wondering what the point of this whole being a parent thing even is if the good stuff doesn’t last and you only have bigger horrors to look forward to…

My Unsolicited Advice

People will tell you “it goes by so fast”. They’ll say that one day you’ll miss X, Y and Z.
They’ll also tell you “just wait until ______”
or “you think X is bad…just wait until Y.”

But you know what they’re NOT telling you?

To be present.

Because here’s the thing about being a parent… nothing that your child does will last forever. 

The chaotic sleep schedule won’t last forever.
The difficulties of potty training won’t last forever.
The struggles of teething won’t last forever…
You will get through whatever struggles you’re currently facing because the shitty parts of raising a kid will not last forever.

But your child also won’t be a precious little newborn forever.
They won’t fall asleep in your arms forever.
They won’t have baby teeth forever.
They won’t need you to snuggle with them forever so they can fall asleep without worrying about the monsters in the dark…
Just like the shitty parts won’t last forever, the magical moments aren’t everlasting either.

When I’m in the middle of yet another battle with my 4 year old over brushing her hair before she goes to bed, I remind myself that while this sucks right now, it won’t last forever. Because one day she’ll be brushing her hair all on her own. And eventually she’ll be brushing her hair in another house that’s not mine.

On the flip side of that, when we’re just hanging out in her room having an imaginary tea party with her stuffed animals, I remind myself that joy filled moments like this won’t last forever either. And I don’t mean that in a doom and gloom kind of way. Rather, it serves as a reminder to keep my mind in the current moment and enjoy the good times as they happen.

Finding ways to ground yourself and stay present during both the wonderful & not so fun times alike will make being a parent so much better. At least it has for me. And I hope it helps you out too.